The Krusty Towers Revisited
by sbartist357
Summary: Mr. Krabs's Grandpa Redbeard asks him to manage his own version of The Krusty Towers for him while he's away. He sends SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick to help. How will they manage, especially when their first guest is none other than the Tattletale Strangler?
1. Message in a Bottle

**Hello, world! Sorry I didn't post a new story sooner; writer's block came back for a while... Anyway, here's a new story for you! Now eat it, swallow it, and chew it down! (SpongeBob says that in the episode "I Heart Dancing.") **

* * *

Mr. Krabs was counting his money as usual.

"Five, ten, twenty-five, blue, applesauce... what the-?" A glass bottle suddenly crashed through his window and rolled to a stop at his desk. He initially got mad (windows cost money to replace!), but stopped himself when he saw that the bottle had a note inside.

"Hmm... I wonder who it could be?" He shook the note out of its container and read it.

_"Ahoy, Eugene:_

_After visiting ye the last time, I decided to look into yer past dealings. I discovered that ye ran a hotel for a short while called 'The Krusty Towers.' Seeing that me grandson didn't pursue it, I've taken the liberty of starting me own version; I took the same name since I knew me grandson wouldn't mind. It's on the other side of town. I ask that ye take care of it while I'm on vacation (pirating, of course). See ye and yer scalawags, soon!_

_-Grandpa Redbeard"_

Mr. Krabs chuckled to himself.

"Ahh, Grandpa Redbeard... what a guy! Well, I guess I'd better get a crew together." He stepped out of his office to see SpongeBob annoying Squidward again.

"Squidward, whatcha doing?" SpongeBob asked in his cute, spongy way.

"Trying to ignore the pest that's right next to me..." The cashier replied, resting his head on his tentacle.

"Oh... who's that?"

"You, you dunce!"

"Who's 'You'? Is he a new customer?" SpongeBob inquired, not realizing that Squidward was talking about him. Squidward lost his patience (again) and was about to throw SpongeBob back into the kitchen when Mr. Krabs showed up.

"Boys! In me office, pronto!" Squidward put the frycook down and the two of them followed Mr. Krabs into his office. They sat down quietly.

"Well, you may be wondering about why I asked you in here-"

"No." Squidward interrupted. His boss frowned at him and continued.

"I received a message from me old Grandpa Redbeard-"

"Oh, not that old pirate that caused us to make a phony ship just to make you look good..." Squidward groaned. Mr. Krabs started growing impatient.

"Mr. Squidward, if you interrupt me again, I'm gonna keel haul ya!" Squidward gave him a mildly surprised look and sighed.

"Anyways, me grandpa is running his own version of The Krusty Towers on the other side of town, and he wants us to manage it for him while he's on vacation." This time, Squidward raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Squidward..."

"You mean he copied your idea?" Mr. Krabs nodded.

"Even down to the last detail, including the 'We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request'?" The squid asked.

"Right again, Mr. Squidward. So pack your bags, boys! We're leaving in five minutes!"

* * *

**As my loyal fans know by now, my first chapters are usually short, but I assure you that it will get longer as I add more stuff (unless, of course, I slap in the dreaded cliff hanger). But, if you like it so far, follow and favorite the story! You can also review at any time (even when the story has cobwebs on it; I'll still read them). ;) SpongeBob will get a bigger part soon (along with Squidward and Patrick)! Keep reading!**


	2. The New Krusty Towers

**Welcome back, everyone! I hope I didn't keep you all waiting too long! Here's the next chapter. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

SpongeBob was happily putting his trusty spatula and work hat into a briefcase. After tucking them in all snug, he gently closed the case. Squidward, on the other hand, was trying to take as long as possible.

"Boys, ready to go?" Mr. Krabs asked as he approached the cash register.

"Hmm... Mr. Krabs, I don't think I can go! I can't choose which magazine to read! Should I pick 'Fancy Living Digest,' or 'Ballet Gazette'?" Squidward whined in a fake "I really wanted to go" tone.

"Squidward, you don't need your 'precious' magazines while we're over there." He pulled out a megaphone and turned it on.

"NOW, MR. SQUIDWARD, LET'S MOVE OUT!" The squid covered his ears and slinked over to the exit. SpongeBob rushed out of the kitchen carrying his briefcase.

"I'm ready, Mr. Krabs!" They closed the restaurant and took a bus to the other side of town. Once they arrived, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs gasped. Grandpa Redbeard's version of The Krusty Towers resembled the old one exactly; he even built a replica of The Krusty Krab on top.

"Well, let's go inside!" Mr. Krabs said excitedly. Grandpa Redbeard was waiting for them.

"Grandson!"

"Grandpa!" The two crustaceans hugged.

"It's great to see you, me bucko. And ye brought yer crew!" Grandpa Redbeard pointed to SpongeBob and Squidward. He pulled up his eyepatch for a moment to look at them better.

"What happened to the pink one?" He questioned. Mr. Krabs started to get nervous.

"Uhh... he'll be coming any minute now. SpongeBob, go and call him to see if he's on his way!"

"Aye-aye, Captain!" The sponge saluted and ran over to the hotel phone on the wall. He dialed Patrick's number and waited.

"Hello?" Patrick said.

"Patrick! It's SpongeBob. You need to come to The Krusty Towers on the other side of town! We get to be co-workers!"

"CO-WORKERS?! YAYYY-" He got cut off.

"Patrick?" SpongeBob called. For a second, there was no answer. Then, a voice came from behind him.

"I'M HERE, WORKING BUDDY!" SpongeBob jumped and hung up the phone. He turned around to see Patrick.

"Patrick! How did you get here so fast?"

"How did I get where so fast?" The starfish asked, confused. SpongeBob stared at his pal blankly.

"Never mind." He replied. Mr. Krabs was saying his final goodbyes to his grandpappy.

"Now remember Grandson, don't forget to make me a boatload of booty while I'm gone!"

"You got it, Granddad!" Once Grandpa Redbeard left, Mr. Krabs got down to business.

"Ok, men, we're not gonna mess things up like the last time." He pulled three uniforms out of nowhere and tossed one toward Squidward.

"Mr. Squidward, you're the desk clerk."

"Yippee." He muttered.

"SpongeBob and Patrick, you'll be bellhops." He gave them identical blue outfits.

"Hooray!" They shouted. The two of them ran to the nearest employee locker room to change. Just as Squidward was about to follow them, Mr. Krabs pulled him back.

"Remember, Mr. Squidward, no shenanigans like the last time, or I'll fill your life with misery and woe!" He stepped into the office and closed the door behind him. A second later, it opened again and his head popped back out.

"Even if you quit." He shut the door again behind him. Squidward sighed heavily.

"He already fills my life with misery and woe. He actually thinks that's a threat? Well, at least I can read my magazine..." He went benind the front desk and sat down to read.

"Ha! So far, so good! Who knows? Maybe everything will be okay after all!"

* * *

**As some of you may have already guessed, it is not going to be "okay after all." If it was, this story wouldn't be very funny now, would it? ;) The next chapter will involve a certain guest checking in. So, don't forget to review, favorite, and follow the tale! **


	3. Hotel Guest

**Hello, again! Here is the next part of my story.**** In this chapter, our hotel guest will finally make his appearance! :D**

* * *

SpongeBob and Patrick had finally changed into their new uniforms. Patrick admired himself in the mirror.

"Wow! I'm a bellhop! Do we get to hop on bells?" He asked stupidly. SpongeBob did his trademark laugh.

"No, silly! We tend to the hotel guests by serving them food, taking care of their bags, and things like that!"

"Oh." Patrick responded absentmindedly.

"Hey Patrick, how about we check out the rest of the hotel?" Patrick agreed. They ran to the elevator but, like the original hotel, it was for guests only. So, they investigated the staircase. There were stairs as far as the eye could see, winding around the walls of the square-shaped tower all the way to the top. At first, they were discouraged; there had to be at least a thousand steps to climb.

"Aww... how are we supposed to to see the rest of the place if the only way to get up is too long?" Patrick complained. SpongeBob beamed and snapped his fingers; he had an idea.

"It's easy!" He walked over to a button next to the stairs labled "Escalator" and pressed it. "Just take the escalator!" He and Patrick stepped on the now-moving staircase and giggled.

"YAY! ESCALATORS!"

_**Meanwhile, in the Hotel Lobby...**_

A wide, brawny fish stepped into The Krusty Towers. He had dark reddish-brown hair and a curly black moustache (there was no price tag on it this time). He walked up to the counter. Squidward was too indulged in his magazine to notice. The green fish rang the bell and cleared his throat to get the desk clerk's attention. Squidward finally looked up and screamed. The huge fish standing before him was the one and only Tattletale Strangler. He reached out towards Squidward, who shrunk back in fear.

"Please, don't hurt me, Tattletale! I never called the police on you! If you don't strangle me I'll give you one of my portraits!" When he realized there were no hands clutching his throat, he cautiously opened his eyes. Strangler was still standing in front of him, but his hand was open and waiting, as in a manner of wanting to shake hands. Figuring that was what Tattletale was intending to do, he shook his hand; it seemed strong enough to stangle someone's neck.

"Please don't be afraid, Squidward." Tattletale said, perceiving his fearful reaction to him.

"H-How do you know my name?" Squidward stuttered.

"When SpongeBob said goodbye to you when you left his 100% On-Time Percentage at Work Party."

"Oh, yeah," the squid replied, remembering. "So, why are you here?"

"I'm a new man. I've payed my debt to society and have taken anger management classes, so I no longer have the urge to strangle people," he smiled proudly. "I've decided to spend a night or two here to relax. Like I said, I'm a more tolerant person now, but I need to have a lot of peace and quiet." He suddenly grabbed Squidward's uniform and pulled him so that they were face-to-face.

"But I warn you, if I'm disturbed or annoyed at any time, I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU APART!" He growled in the squid's face and immediately calmed back down, as if nothing had happened. Squidward straightened his wrinkled outfit.

"Can I get a room, now?" Tattletale asked politely.

"Uhh... sure." Squidward grabbed a key from the board behind him and gave it to the Strangler. Squidward picked up the phone and pressed a button on it so that his voice could be heard on all of the loadspeakers throughout the hotel.

"SPONGEBOB, PATRICK! STOP FOOLING AROUND AND GET DOWN HERE, NOW!" SpongeBob and Patrick were in the exact replica of The Krusty Krab on the top floor of the hotel. They had been performing a ritual to attract customers (where the only way for the ritual to work was for them to get hurt, real bad). They heard the announcement and looked at each other.

"Do you think it worked?" Patrick asked.

"I don't know. Let's go see!" SpongeBob said. They got on the escalator/staircase again and rode it all the way down to the ground floor. As they entered the hotel lobby, they saw a large, green fish talking casually to Squidward. The fish had two briefcases.

"Yay! The ritual worked!" Patrick whispered to SpongeBob. They walked over to the counter.

"Take our guest's bags to room 1432." Squidward instructed. SpongeBob and Patrick each grabbed a briefcase and shouted "ESCALATORS!" as they ran back to the staircase. There was a brief silence as the Strangler and Squidward stared after them. Squidward was the first to speak.

"Uhh... you can take the elevator. Those two should meet you up there." He pointed to the elevator.

"Thanks." The Tattletale Strangler walked into the guest-only elevator and pressed the 14th floor button. Squidward watched as the doors shut behind him.

_"I hope that SpongeBob and Patrick leave him alone."_ He thought to himself. Squidward considered his statement for a minute.

_"This is gonna be a long, painful couple of days."_

* * *

**Poor Squidward. At least he's good at predictions... ;) So, how do you guys like the story so far? Let me know by reviewing, following, and favoriting! You can also PM me if you want to!**


	4. We Shall Always Deny a Guest (Secretly)

**Here's the next chapter! As a little heads-up, there are a few different points of view in this chapter (not first person, just locations), so please just try to stay with me! :) Okay, on with the story!**

* * *

Luckily, SpongeBob and Patrick got to the correct hotel room at the same time as the Strangler. He immediately recognized them.

_"Oh no, it's those two idiots. The yellow one I was trying to strangle, and the other one drove me crazy in that jail cell! Why didn't I figure that out downstairs in the lobby?" _He wondered.

_"Ok, I can handle this. Just remember your anger management classes, Tattletale and you'll be fine."_

Before he opened the door, he turned to SpongeBob and Patrick.

"Listen, I need peace and quiet so I can rest. Please don't bother me. I wish not to be disturbed unless I call for you. Okay?"

"Don't worry! You're the only guest in the entire hotel right now. We promise not to bother you unless you want something," SpongeBob said. "Right, Patrick?" Patrick started to drool.

"Uhh..."

"That means yes," SpongeBob assured the fish.

"I'm sure you'll find your accomodations comfortable." He added. The Strangler smiled a little and led them into the hotel room. The two bellhops placed his luggage on the floor.

"Well, enjoy your stay, Mister-" SpongeBob studied the fish's face, puzzled. Tattletale flinched.

"You know, you look awfully familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"No!" The fish replied quickly. He gave them each a quarter and ushered them out of the room.

"Ok, thank you! Bye!" He slammed the door shut before either one could reply.

_"I know I've seen him somewhere,"_ SpongeBob thought.

_"Oh, well!"_ He shrugged it off and forgot about it.

"Hey, SpongeBob?" Patrick asked, staring at the hotel door.

"What?"

"Do you think that guy had enough pillows and blankets?" The starfish questioned.

"Yes, he had plenty."

"Are you sure he had enough pillows and blankets?"

"Yes, Patrick." SpongeBob answered, becoming slightly agitated.

"Well, I'm gonna go in there and ask him." He turned around to go in, but SpongeBob stopped him.

"Patrick! He told us not to go in there unless he wants us, remember?"

"Well, maybe he does." Patrick retorted. He closed his eyes and put his hands on his temples.

"Yes... I'm receiving telepathic waves. He needs me. I'll be back!" With that, he barged into the room.

"Mister, do you need some more pillows and blankets?" SpongeBob ran and hid behind a corner in case the fish charged after him. There was only silence. A second later, their guest walked out of the room and toward the elevator. Once he was gone, SpongeBob found Patrick standing in the middle of the room, dumfounded.

"What happened, Patrick?"

"I asked him if he needed any more pillows or blankets, and he seemed to get annoyed. But instead of hitting me, he left!" Patrick said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I wonder why?" SpongeBob replied.

_**In the Lobby...**_

The elevator made a "ding" as the doors opened. The Tattletale Strangler had a blank, exhausted look on his face as he trudged over to the counter. Squidward looked up.

"Are you enjoying your stay?" He was answered with a fist. Tattletale walked back to the elevator, leaving a certain squid groaning in pain. Only his feet could be seen sticking up above the counter.

_**Back on the 14th Floor...**_

"Let's get out of here, Pat!" SpongeBob grabbed his best friend's arm and pulled him out of the room and shut the door.

"SpongeBob, remember how he said that he needed piece and quiet?" Patrick asked. SpongeBob nodded.

"Well, I think I have a solution!" Patrick pointed upward for emphasis.

"You mean, you're going to leave him alone now?"

"No, silly! That's not gonna work! I meant music!"

"Music?" The sponge scratched his head.

"Yeah! If he listens to music, he'll be lulled to sleep! That's what I always do!" The "ding" of the elevator interrupted their conversation. They both hid behind a potted plant. The Strangler entered his room and slammed the door. Patrick waited a minute before initiating his plan.

"I'll be back... again!" He tiptoed over to their hotel guest's suite.

"Patrick, I don't think this is a good idea!" SpongeBob whispered frantically. Patrick didn't hear him. He slipped into the room and closed the door gently. Everything was quiet. Suddenly, extremely loud music blasted from the suite. SpongeBob covered his ears.

_**Inside the Hotel Room (A few seconds ago)...**_

Patrick had just closed the door. The Strangler was already sleeping in his bed. Patrick went over to the radio on the night table and turned it on full blast. The station it was on had relaxing jazz music; he immediately changed it.

"That's not the kind of music he needs!"

He thought. Finally, he came across something familiar.

"My song!" Patrick shouted. He sang along to the final line:

_"THIS SONG IS OVER, EXCEPT FOR THIS LINE: YOU WIN THIS ROUND, BROCCOLI!"_ The Strangler's bloodshot eyes snapped open. He reached over and turned the radio off.

"May I have the phone, please?" Tattletale asked the bellhop. Patrick grabbed the phone next to the radio and gave it to him.

"Here you go, sir." Patrick responded happily. Tattletale dialed the front desk and waited.

_**At the Front Desk...**_

Squidward heard the phone ring. He rubbed his newly-blackened eye and got up to answer it.

"Hello?" The squid said. A fist came out of the receiver and punched him in the face, knocking him out.

_**A Few Minutes Later...**_

Squidward regained consciousness. He slowly stood up and stumbled over to a mirror on the wall. He discovered that he now had two matching black eyes. Squidward groaned.

"I knew this wasn't going to go well." He muttered. At that moment, Mr. Krabs scuttled out of the office.

"Ahoy, Mr. Squidward! How are things going in the new Krusty Towers?"

"Well, actually Mr. Krabs, to tell you the truth-"

"Great! Keep up the good work! I'll be in me office if you need me!" Mr. Krabs hurried back into his office. Squidward, in annoyance, face palmed, forgetting his eye injuries.

"Ow!"

* * *

**Haha! This chapter was worth the wait wasn't it? I'll answer that question for you guys: Yes! I hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I did writing and editing it! :D As always, don't forget to review and favorite and all that good stuff! Don't worry; there's more hilarity to come, so make sure to keep reading the tale!**


	5. Squidward's Misery at The Krusty Towers

**I'm back! Sorry about the long wait again; I was busy with school-related things. But here's the latest chapter of my tale. This one switches to different places too, so try to keep up! I hope it's not confusing! :)**

* * *

_**Back in the Hallway of the 14th Floor...**_

SpongeBob was still huddled behind the potted plant when Patrick returned.

"Patrick, what were you thinking? Your song wasn't going to help him sleep! Don't you understand that he wants to be left alone?" SpongeBob scolded his friend.

"Don't worry, SpongeBob. He wasn't mad at all. In fact, he was so happy that he asked me to give him the phone so he could call someone!" Patrick smiled.

"Uhh... how did that show he was happy?" The sponge questioned.

"Well, he asked so politely, I figured he wanted to tell somebody how happy he was!" Patrick replied.

"Ok..." His friend said skeptically. He stretched a little and proceeded toward the employee staircase/escalator when Patrick pulled him back.

"Wait! I got another idea!"

_"Oh, not again..."_ SpongeBob thought. He sighed.

"What is it?"

"Instead of taking the stair-scalator, how about we look around in the hotel room next door to our guest's?" Patrick suggested eagerly.

"Hmm...maybe later, Pat. I'm going to count the sesame seeds in the kitchen on the top floor." SpongeBob told him (he knew what Patrick meant by "stair-scalator," if you were wondering). Patrick glanced at his watch which had suddenly appeared on his wrist (how convenient).

"But it's not 3AM..." Patrick argued.

"Uhh... well, I'm going to check them anyway. See you later!" SpongeBob disappeared into the stairwell.

"ESCALATORS!" SpongeBob shouted as he ascended to The Krusty Krab replica on top of The Krusty Towers. Patrick grabbed a key out of the pocket of his uniform and unlocked the suite next to the Strangler's. It was completely identical. He noticed the radio on the night table and giggled.

"Yay, music!"

_**In Tattletale's Room...**_

Tattletale had just fallen back into a relaxing, deep sleep. He was snoring loudly. Just as everything was serene and lovely, music started playing in the next suite. It was low at first, but it got progressively louder over time (in other words, 5 seconds). The Strangler came out of his slumber and frowned. He reached over to the telephone and dialed the front desk again.

_**At the Front Desk...**_

Squidward heard the phone ring. This time, he used a long pole with grippers at the end to answer it. He stood against the wall opposite to where the phone was.

"Hello!?" Squidward called. He rose his voice high enough for the person on the other end to hear him.

"LISTEN, SQUIDWARD! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT RACKET IN THE ROOM NEXT TO ME RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!" The Strangler screamed into the receiver.

Squidward, thinking that Tattletale was going to take care of the noise by himself, said, "Go ahead, then!" The Strangler seemed to pause for a moment. While Squidward waited for a response, Tattletale burst through the closed elevator doors and punched him in the face again. He turned and stormed back into the broken elevator and vanished. Squidward was leaning against the wall and was still holding the phone when the Strangler spoke again.

"SO, ARE YOU GOING TO STOP IT NOW?"

"Okay, okay!" Squidward quickly hung up and pressed the button for the hotel speakers again.

"SPONGEBOB, GO TO THE FOURTEENTH FLOOR AND QUIET PATRICK DOWN!" It didn't take a genius to guess that that it was Patrick who was making all the noise.

_**Upstairs...**_

SpongeBob was at sesame seed number 2,753,522 when Squidward called. The sponge scrawled the number he was at onto an order ticket and ran to the escalator again. Although he was rushing to the 14th floor, he managed to shout "ESCALATORS!" on the way down. He sprinted to their guest's hotel room first. He opened the door slightly.

"Not to worry, sir! I'll quiet him!" SpongeBob shut the door and entered the suite next to him. Inside, Patrick was singing along to the song that was playing. SpongeBob turned it off.

"Patrick, you have to be quiet! What part of the word 'quiet' do you not understand?!"

"Uhh.." Patrick drooled. SpongeBob let out an annoyed sigh.

"What song were you listening to, anyway?"

"'The Goofy Goober Theme Song'..." Patrick answered with a smirk.

"Well, no matter what song it is, you shouldn't-" SpongeBob started. "Wait, did you say 'The Goofy Goober Theme Song'?!" He turned the radio back on full blast.

_**Back in the Strangler's Room...**_

Tattletale had heard the music stop and was about to go back to sleep when it suddenly blasted in the other room. The only words he could hear above the music were "GOOFY GOOFY GOOBER GOOBER, YEAH!" He reluctantly got out of bed and rolled up his sleeves. He headed to the elevator.

_**In the Lobby (Again)...**_

"Mr. Krabs, I'm taking my vacation, now!" Squidward was standing in front of his boss's desk in the office of The Krusty Towers. Mr. Krabs glared at him.

"You can't take it now! We're doing a favor for me old Grandpa Redbeard and you are going to stay until he gets back, understand?" The crab stated firmly.

"But Mr. Krabs, just look at me!" Squidward pointed to his black eyes (one of them was darker than the other due to Tattletale's latest attack). Mr. Krabs squinted to examine him.

"Yeah, you don't look so good. Let me see." He scuttled around the desk and looked him over from head to toe.

"Hmm... what is it? Aha!" Mr. Krabs reached up and straightened Squidward's hat.

"There we go, good as new!" Mr. Krabs pushed his employee out of the office.

"Now, get back to work!" The door slammed shut.

At that instant, Tattletale exited the elevator and marched over to Squidward. He dived behind the counter, grabbed a random knight helmet from behind it, and put it on just before the Strangler reached him. Tattletale simply lifted the face mask and punched Squidward yet again. As usual, he went back to the guest-only elevator with the busted doors and returned to his room, leaving Squidward with two darker black eyes.

* * *

**At least Squidward's eyes are matching again... ;) If anyone reading this story is starting to feel bad for Squidward, don't worry! He only needs to get through one more chapter and then he can go to the hospital to recover. :) The final chapter might be a little shorter than the other ones because I'll be wrapping things up, but keep checking for it (the next post will be on or before _May 3rd_). Don't forget to review and favorite! Oh, and the thing about the sesame seeds at 3AM is a reference to the episode "Just One Bite" when Squidward gets caught trying to sneak into the Patty Vault. ;D**


	6. Top-of-the-Line Service

**Greetings, comrades! Sorry about the wait! I couldn't come up with a good enough ending in time. I hope you're ready to read, because this is the longest chapter in the whole story. It wasn't intentional, but all the action that happens in here called for it. But, anyway, I hope you love this chapter!**

* * *

Mr. Krabs was still in the manager's office of The Krusty Towers. As he happily counted his money, he glanced out the window. The glass was so dirty, he could barely see outside. The crab put his dollars away and stepped into the main lobby.

"Mr. Squidward, front and center!" He barked. Squidward, who was sitting at the front desk, sluggishly got up from his seat and walked over to him.

"Squidward, I'd like to spruce up the hotel before me Grandpa Redbeard gets back. I want to show him that we kept his hotel in ship-shape while he was away. So, I want you to tell SpongeBob and Patrick to clean all the windows outside the hotel, starting with the top floor."

"But, Mr. Krabs-" Squidward pleaded.

"No buts, Mr. Squidward. Have SpongeBob and Patrick get on that right away!" He turned and (you guessed it) disappeared into the office. Squidward called the two bellhops over from the employee locker room.

"Mr. Krabs wants you guys to clean all the windows on the outside of the hotel, staring with the top floor." He paused for a minute.

"You know, now that I hear myself say it, I don't think you can do it?" Squidward said with a bored look on his face. SpongeBob laughed.

"Nonsense, Squidward! Patrick and I can do anything you ask us to do!" He replied. Squidward gave in.

"Fine. Here are some sponges and buckets. Now, get up to the top floor and start cleaning!" The pair each grabbed a sponge and bucket from Squidward. In their excitement, they skipped around him, singing.

"We're gonna wash windows! We're gonna wash windows! Washing windows, washing windows, washing wind-"

"Shut your half-wit pieholes! Listen. When you get to the 14th floor, leave that tenant's window alone. Got it?" Squidward asked, pinching their mouths closed.

"Don't worry, Squidward! We won't let you down!" SpongeBob replied, breaking away from Squidward's grasp. Patrick broke free as well and followed SpongeBob to the staircase.

"ESCALATORS!" They screamed with joy. Once they were out of earshot, Squidward groaned.

"That's what I'm afraid of."

_**On the Roof of the Hotel...**_

SpongeBob and Patrick tied ropes around their waists and lowered themselves carefully down the side. They started to clean the windows as instructed, and eventually reached the 14th floor. When they reached their guest's window, SpongeBob tapped his friend's shoulder.

"Patrick, Squidward said to avoid this guy's window, remember?" The sponge asked. Patrick squinted at the window in question.

"But SpongeBob, there's a speck on this window! I know what Squidward said, but this is a top-rate hotel, and out our customer deserves top-of-the-line service! I need to rid the glass of that speck!" Patrick dunked his sponge into the bucket of water and scrubbed at the speck. It wouldn't leave.

"Stupid speck! It's on the inside of the window! I'll take care of this!" Patrick placed the sponge back in the bucket and knocked on the glass. Their sleeping guest opened his eyes for a second, then shut them again. Patrick knocked on the window again. This time, Tattletale got up in a rage and opened the window harshly.

"What do you want?" He questioned Patrick angrily. The starfish stared back at him, slightly surprised.

"Well, you have a speck on your window." Patrick said nervously.

"So what? Why would I look out the window, anyway?!" The Strangler responded.

"Umm, so you can look out the window?" The bellhop guessed dumbly.

"AHH!" The fish yelled in frustration and slammed the window shut. He charged into the elevator and rode it all the way down to the lobby. He approached the front desk where Squidward was and worked him over (this time, it was not limited to his face). The Strangler, having released his fury, went back up to the 14th floor (because where else could he go?).

_**At the 14th Floor...**_

When Tattletale got back to his room, it was freezing cold. He shivered and approached the radiator. After making an attempt to adjust it, he discovered that the heater was broken. He dialed the lobby (shocking, huh?).

_**In the Lobby...**_

Squidward picked up the phone normally, since his efforts to avoid getting hurt the last time had failed. He wasn't surprised to hear Tattletale shouting at him on the other end.

"THE RADIATOR IN MY ROOM IS BROKEN! COME UP AND FIX IT! YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES!" With that, the Strangler hung up.

"Five minutes?!" Squidward cried in despair. He glanced around the lobby to make sure he was alone.

"I'll never get to his room in time! And stingy Mr. Krabs won't let employees use the elevator." He looked at the elevator, thinking.

"Well, I might as well try first." Squidward tiptoed to the elevator (he had covered the doors with silver duct tape to cover the damage from before) and pushed the button on the side. When the doors opened, Squidward shouted. There, standing in the elevator, was none other than Mr. Krabs. The crab cleared his throat.

"And what might you be doing, Mr. Squidward?" He asked in a stern tone. Mr. Krabs's employee just stuttered.

"Well, our guest... umm, asked me to fix the... uhh, radiator. He only gave me five minutes to get up there, and... well, it would take too long to climb the stairs, so... can I use the elevator?" Squidward asked, even though he knew what the answer would be.

"No. The elevator is for guests only! No exceptions! Now, get up there! You have a lot of climbing to do!" Mr. Krabs disappeared as the elevator doors shut. Squidward entered the stairwell, defeated. All he saw was a flight of at least a thousand stairs. He sighed. He walked to the first stair, and noticed a button on the wall above the edge of the banister.

"Hmm... what's this?" He pressed the button and gasped as the stairs began to move at a very rapid speed.

"How do I get on this thing-?" He had barely put one foot on a moving stair when he was instantly pulled onto it.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as he was whisked all the way to the 14th floor. He was so busy hanging on for dear life that he didn't have any time to make an easy dismount. Once he reached the 14th floor exit, he was flung off the escalator. He crashed through the staircase door and faceplanted on the hallway carpet. He slid to a stop at Tattletale's feet (he had been waiting in the hallway for him). The Strangler pressed a button on the stopwatch he was holding.

"Good job! And with only ten seconds left to spare!" Tattletale exclaimed.

"Great..." Squidward wearily mumbled into the carpet. He got up and followed the green fish into his suite. Squidard examined the radiator.

"Well, let me check the basement." He walked out of the room as the Strangler went back to bed. On his way back to the staircase, SpongeBob and Patrick came over to him.

"Hi, Squidward! Whatcha doin'?" The eager little sponge asked cheerfully.

"I'm fixing that guy's radiator. Did you two finish cleaning those windows?" Squidward replied.

"Yeah!" SpongeBob said excitedly. Squidward peered around them, confused.

"What happened to the sponges and buckets?" The squid inquired. He and SpongeBob turned to Patrick, who let out a loud burp.

"Patrick ate them." SpongeBob answered nervously. Squidward glared at him.

"Well, you didn't say that Patrick couldn't do that!" The bellhop retorted in their defense.

"Whatever. Well, I'm gonna go to the basement now-" Squidward was interrupted by Patrick.

"Wait! I know how to make up for annoying our guest! I'll fix his heater!" He rushed to the stairs. SpongeBob followed.

"Patrick, wait!" The sponge cried. Squidward chased them. He knew that the Stangler will tear him apart if they annoyed him again.

"Morons, don't!" All three of them were running down the escalator to the basement. Patrick got there first. He grabbed a wrench and hit the pipe leading up to Tattletale's room as hard as he could and the noise vibrated upward. Squidward was at the entrance to the basement when he saw Patrick hit the pipe. Realizing the bang was going to wake their guest up, he sprinted up the escalator back up to Tattletale's room, grabbing a handful of pillows from a linen closet on the way. He jumped on top of the radiator with the pillows just as the loud bang reached it. There was only a muffled "thump." Squidward calmed down and let out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, steam spewed out of the radiator, causing a high-pitched whistle. Panicking, Squidward unscrewed the nozzle off the heater; even disconnected, it still whistled. He looked over to the Strangler. He was starting to come out of his slumber. Squidward quickly stuffed the nozzle underneath the pile of pillows until it quieted down. He relaxed. Just then, SpongeBob appeared in the doorway, furious.

"SO, A FINE KETTLE OF FISH! HERE I WORK MYSELF DOWN TO THE SKIN AND BONES TRYING TO KEEP THIS GUY ASLEEP! AND WHAT DO YOU DO?! BLOW WHISTLES! JUST WHEN I GOT THINGS SO QUIET, YOU CAN HEAR A PIN DROP, YOU BUST IN HERE AND YOU BUST OUT WITH A WHISTLE AND YOU SNAFU THE WHOLE WORKS! HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS REASONABLE DO YOU EXPECT A GUY TO GET HIS SLUMBER, WHEN A GOOF LIKE YOU GOES AROUND MAKING NOISES LIKE A ONE-MAN FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION?! HE NEEDS PEACE AND QUIET! IT'S POSITIVELY OUTRAGEOUS!" As SpongeBob ranted, the Strangler woke up completely, even angrier than he had been for his entire stay. His eyes were red with fury. Squidward, who had been trying to shush SpongeBob up, sprinted as fast as he could down to the lobby and rang the bell to call SpongeBob and Patrick over. They arrived promptly.

"Yes, sir!" They saluted.

"For very meritorious service, you are herewith promoted to the position of manager. Take over." Squidward changed uniforms with SpongeBob and shoved him and Patrick behind the counter while he stood next to the desk, now dressed as a bellhop. The Tattletale Strangler came up to the three of them. He seemingly got ready to punch SpongeBob, but turned and punched Squidward instead. He flew through the air and crashed onto the floor. SpongeBob and Patrick were too happy about their promotions to notice.

"Wow! We were promoted to desk clerks in less than five seconds!" SpongeBob said with glee.

"Yeah! Now we get to, uhh..." Patrick fell asleep and drooled. At that moment, Grandpa Redbeard returned from his vacation.

"Ahoy, Grandson!" He called. Mr. Krabs came out of the office.

"Ahoy, Grandpa! Did you enjoy your vacation?" He asked. Grandpa Redbeard chuckled heartily.

"Eugene, me boy! It was the best vacation I've had in a long time! How was everything here at The Krusty Towers?"

"Oh, it went just fine! We didn't have any problems at all, right Mr. Squidward?" Mr. Krabs asked. Squidward only groaned. Tattletale spoke next.

"I believe I'll be checking out now. I've had enough relaxation for a while. If someone could just fetch my bags, I'll be on my way." SpongeBob jumped over Squidward (who was laying on the floor) and took the escalator to get the Strangler's bags (and yes, he shouted "ESCALATORS!" on the way up). He was back in just three minutes. SpongeBob put down the luggage he was carrying and stepped back behind the counter.

"Now, if you could just sign out, Mr-" SpongeBob read the name on the hotel register.

"Tattletale Strangler." He handed the fish a pen, not realizing the name he had just said. After signing the book, Tattletale was picking up his bags when SpongeBob screamed.

"THE TATTLETALE STRANGLER?! AHHHHH!" He ran around in circles, then out the front door. Patrick awoke from the screaming and freaked out (he had managed to hear the name).

"THE TATTLETALE STRANGLER?! I GOT TO TURN MYSELF IN AGAIN!" The starfish busted through the wall next to the front door and went to the Bikini Bottom Jail, where he stuffed himself into an empty cell.

_**The End**_

* * *

**Well, there you have it! If anybody out there thought this sounded like a Classic Looney Tunes episode, then let me just say "Congratulations!" :D This entire story was loosely structured around the episode "A Pest in the House" with Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd. If you've never seen it, look it up online; it's hilarious! XD Also, this is the first story I've done where the chapters got longer each time (I wasn't even trying for that)! Like I promised, Squidward can go to the hospital now for his injuries and everything will return back to normal (just as soon as he recovers and Patrick gets released from jail again). ;) Please favorite and review! Until next time, "That's All, Folks!"**


End file.
